Dictated by the Plain Writing Act of 2010
All language must be “clear, concise, well-organized”
With the goal of “minimizing uncertainty”
Plain language is the language of the plain
Desert imperialists chiseling symbols in ancient stone
Using the tongue to make level,
Speak destruction into existence,
tame the wild,
level the cedars of Lebanon,
make crooked paths straight.
What follows is a straight-laced morality
and linear teleology,
steamrolling their way into the future,
via the straight and narrow way.
Protestantism, Calvinism, Mohammedism, capitalism, Communism.
Hard pews, printed bulletins,
everyone facing the same direction.
No diversity, no flowering.
Only the straight, black robes of the priests and
the gray, neatly-pressed shirts of totalitarian dictators.
Wealth and progress abound,
but flourishing, flora? No. Just austerity.
Just the facts. Just right or wrong.
Always leveling, always making plain.
Knowledge without wisdom.
Dumbing down to the
lowest common denominator.
Reduce your fractions, children!
A new generation of punk rockers and hippies
pretends to rise from the plains,
with their own cool language.
They, too, become cold and frigid.
working as soulless bean counters,
Measuring grain in the silos,
funding ever more leveling.
Managing slave laborers,
unskilled laborers chained to the land,
who give their dead-level best.
We are all languishing in the plain.
Death by words.
“Let there be” created and destroyed in a single breath.
Plain language is the language of the plain.
They passed a law to confirm what we already knew.